Hey everyone! Sorry we haven’t posted anything lately we have just been very busy with work and life. This week’s topic of choice is: dating.
We will talk about our dating preferences when it comes to the men that we choose to date.
Nina: I don’t personally have anything against white guys, but I prefer to date someone who is either mixed or black. Don’t get me wrong I do find some white guys attractive, but as far as doing anything with them; I cannot see myself dating a white guy. I grew up in a town where it was predominately white and also pretty racist. So you learn pretty quick who you are and are not comfortable around. I don’t want to fully say that is the reason why I don’t really date outside of my race, but it does have a bit of weight. My family wouldn’t really care who I choose to date although they might try and make some sort of remark if I were to date outside of my race. As long as the person is treating me right and whatnot though they will not have much say as to who I date. So honestly I would have to say it would primarily be just my personal preference with a bit of outside influence that pushes me to date people who are either in my race or close to my race.
Veronica: This blog entry is going to be a little different for me because I haven’t dated anyone. So my part is going to be a little different from Nina, Maya, and Goldie’s. For my preference, I’m interested in white guys. I’m not sure if it has anything to do with family or my environment that I’m only attracted to white men. I’m not saying that I can’t find any other race of men attractive, but for me to date/be with anyone I’ll probably be with a white man. I’m not sure how my family that I currently live with and see all the time feel about me dating anyone. I’m pretty sure my dad thought I was asexual for awhile until I told him that I wasn’t mentally and emotionally ready to date, but he wouldn’t care what race I dated. I have no idea about how my grandparents would feel because my grandma is all old school saying I’m 23 and should be married, even though she wasn’t at my age. My grandfather, on the other hand, could give two shits about who I date. I feel that my mother might favor me over my sisters because of who I date. I feel that she would favor my future children because they will most likely have a white father, and therefore come out very light skinned. So she will favor my kids over my sister’s kids, which fuck that shit.
Maya: Even though my current boyfriend is black and the only two other guys I have dated were black, I still feel that my dating preference is somewhat diverse. I’ve been attracted to black guys, white guys, mixed guys (black/white), Latino guys, and even an Asian guy. I think who I date just depends on what qualities I like in a guy. When I lived in Arizona I went to a school that was predominately Latino and I ended up liking the one white guy in my class. Other than the few years I lived in Arizona, I went to predominately black schools and at those schools I was attracted to black guys, mixed guys, and even Latino guys even though a lot of the couples around me were same race couples. I have an aunt that was surprised to see that I ended up dating a black guy because she thought I “acted white” and that I didn’t like black people. So to me it’s not about where I am, who the other people around me are dating, or who my family thinks I would end up with. It’s about the qualities I like and who I can see those qualities in. I think the fact that the only guys I ever dated were black is just a matter of chance. I’ve been hit on by other races that I’m attracted to, but it all goes back to whether they had the qualities I was looking for in a guy or not.
Goldie: All I know is that there was a time where I was against dating anyone outside of black because my mom would insist upon my sisters and myself dating only white men so I went for the total opposite to anger her.
Today we are going to talk about me (Veronica) and my sister growing up being bullied by both family and others. However when I was younger, I didn’t necessarily have to deal with verbal bullying or anything like what my older sister did. Most of the time it was people staring at my family and I that would really bother me. When I was younger, my grandmother would ask people if they had ever seen a black girl with a white women before if she caught them staring at us for long periods of time, or if they were giving us dirty looks. Usually, when people would stare at us, my sister and I would just stare back and/or sometimes we would wave at them.
Growing up my older sister would be called names such as Oreo, zebra and coon. People would comment about how she thought she was “all that” because she had “good hair”, while others assumed and asked if she wore weave in her hair. She also had to put up with bullying from our own mother and other sisters. Our mother, who is black, would instill hatred in our sisters who are not mixed by telling them that they would never amount to anything because they are not mixed and that their dad isn’t white. Our mother would tell my other sisters who are not mixed that since they were not light enough that they would never find a man. Why would you even put your children through that? Why would you even tell your child that? This ended up causing friction between my sisters.
Something that me, Nina and my sister have all gone through is being looked at weirdly because we talk properly. People are shocked when they see how we talk and assume that we are trying to be white simply for talking proper. Excuse us for having an education and respect for how we talk with others. That is how we were raised it does not have anything to do with us trying to be “white” or make anyone look bad.
Love to hear comments/anything really about our blog!
Thank you for reading,
Nina and Veronica
So we are going to talk a little about being bullied growing up. Nowadays there are more and more biracial children being born, so it’s becoming more of a norm to see. And although Veronica and I are not that old, we do know that growing up it was not a norm for us. For us it was either strictly black or strictly white, it was rare to see a lot of mixed kids. Growing up we didn’t really notice racism for the simple fact we grew up around both sides of our family.
For me (Nina) I had to deal with people talking about how I thought I was too good as a result of me being light-skinned and that I had “good hair”. I didn’t know what my hair had to do with anything and so I just brushed it off, I thought it was stupid to dislike someone because their hair was different. I also did not have many friends growing up, for the reason; that people assumed I was stuck up and thought I put myself on a higher pedestal than them just because of how I looked. I got called names like mutt, half-breed, and Oreo; I was even called an abomination which hit me kind of hard because I was so young when this happened and I didn’t understand until I was older. Now that I am older a lot of these things don’t bother me for the fact that I know that racism and bullying is something that will never truly go away. I know how I am as a person just because my parents are two different races doesn’t make me any different from the next person. Growing up in general is hard, but being mixed is a different story considering you don’t understand why people hate you before even getting to know you; they just hate you for being biracial.
So lately we have had some people come to us for advice on hair products and upkeep. Based off of the questions that we have been asked, we thought it would be helpful to post a blog on how often one should wash their hair. Firstly, hair does not need to be washed everyday! We cannot stress this enough. The reason that some people do it, is because they say their hair is too oily. Even still you can go a day or two without washing it constantly.
Shampoos usually contain a lot of sulfates and other chemicals to dry out your hair to get rid of the oi that is needed in your hair. With all the excessive washing this is be damaging to your hair, and it can become extremely dry, and in some cases we have heard that some people’s hair have become matted.
If you feel the need to wash or wet your hair everyday, try using some of these other products to use in your hair. For example, try using a co-wash or conditioner wash, which is just how it sounds. You do not use a shampoo, just wash with a conditioner. Co-washing is better for your hair because it adds in moisture to your hair. Since co-wash does not contain any harsh chemicals you can use it everyday without harming your hair. When I (Nina) co-washed my hair, I would only shampoo my hair maybe once a month and use the co-wash whenever I felt my hair needed to be washed, which would generally be once a week.
If you are going to use shampoo, try using either a lightweight shampoo or one with no sulfates or chemicals. These are not to hard to find at the store. They contain little to no chemicals in them so it will not dry out your hair as much. Usually the more your hair is dried out the more products you use in your hair in order to get moisture into it. Which starts the whole cycle of constantly washing your hair because it’s too oily.
Below you’ll find some links to pages that will give you a little more incite on washing your hair and products to use.
List of Lightweight & Sulfate Shampoos
-As I Am
This is Veronica, and today I’m going to talk about my hair routine and products I use. I do not have a specific brand of shampoo and conditioner that I use; it’s usually whatever my dad buys from the store. So right now I’m using Suave Professionals Almond+Shea Butter. I do not blow dry my hair. I do brush it out and let it air dry or put it in a ponytail and let it air dry, it just depends on how much time and how lazy i’m being.
When my hair is still wet I use the Mixed Chicks Straightening Serum. Since my flat iron is wet2straight I can straighten my hair when it is wet, but I normally do not do this because I do not like the smell and it feels like my hair is being fried. I’ll usually wait til my hair is damp or completely dry before I straighten my hair.
When I leave my hair naturally curly, kinky, frizzy and wavy, I brush it and put some of the straightening serum in it and usually just put it in a ponytail. To lay the frizz down around the edges, I use Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Edge Control. When I’m attempting a nice and clean ponytail I use Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Smooth-N-Hold Pudding. For a little shine and a little moisturizer for my scalp I use Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Nourishing Sheen Spray.
This is Nina, and I’m going to talk a little about my hair type. To start out my hair is wavy, curly, kinky, and frizzy which can be a real pain. I do not wash my hair everyday because that will strip away any natural oils and nutrients out of my hair. So depending on what type of style my hair is, I will generally wash it once every two weeks. If there is a lot of oil in my hair I will wash it maybe once a week. I try and use products with little to no chemicals in them.
The brand of shampoo and conditioner that I use is called Organix, and I have been using this for about a year now, and so far I like it. It doesn’t leave my hair feeling dry after I wash it, like other brands that I have used. I also use a co-wash called As I Am. This is just a conditioner wash, which is good if you have dry or coarse hair.
Usually, I will use Extra Virgin Olive Oil to moisturize my hair and just brush it out. Afterwards I generally just put it either in a bun or a loose ponytail until I go out. I’m always looking for new moisturizers to try for my hair because my hair has a tendency to stay dry. So far the olive oil has been working pretty well for my hair, it’s light and does not weigh my hair down very much.
If I plan on wearing my hair naturally curly, generally I’ll just wet my hair and use an alcohol free mousse for hold, and maybe some gel to smooth down the edges.
When I straighten my hair I use a product called mixed chicks straightening serum. I’ve used this product a few times and I really like it because it leaves my hair feeling soft and smooth when I’m straightening. It is thermal heat protectant which doesn’t cause your straightener to fry your hair when used. I also have been trying not to use ponytail holders in my hair after I straighten my hair because it would constantly pull out my hair a lot. The only time I use them is when I’m tying my hair up at night for bed. I’ve noticed that my hair doesn’t come out as much as it use to when I would use the ponytail holders.
We all know that mixed children have many different hair types and textures. We know that not everyone’s hair is like our own, because even our hair types are different. We also know that it can be hard to find products to use for your hair. Please understand we are not professionals, and we will only post about what we already know first hand. Also, we do not want to discriminate against the guys! So if you do not see your hair type/texture on our blog please email us and we will be more than happy to post it.
Welcome to biracial generation,
We are Nina and Veronica, and we are the sole creators of this blog. The reason why we started this blog is to talk about what it’s like growing up to be a mixed child. We both have white fathers and black mothers and we both live in a single family home, the only difference is that Veronica lives with her father, and Nina lives with her mother. So our lifestyles are both different, yet we share some of the same experiences.
The concept of this blog is to talk about our experiences growing up being mixed. We will be talking about many different topics from hair care to relationships. Please note that we understand that not everyone is in our situation, and we respect that. That is why we are starting this blog because we feel that the biracial community does not get much recognition.
We want to share our knowledge and advice with others because it can be somewhat difficult growing up in a society that is black and white. Because we know there are many different backgrounds and situations, we want to encourage you to come to us if there is something that you would like for us to research and know more about. That way it doesn’t seem like we are being one-sided. Also, we do not want to discriminate against the guys. This website is for everyone, so guys please do not hesitate to share your stories with us.
Nina and Veronica